After long anticipation, the baby is finally here, and you and your partner are just trying your best to figure out this brand-new life as parents. A key aspect to this is restoring and maintaining the intimacy in your relationship via your sex life. It’s understandable if you’re anxious, nervous or even scared to get back to intercourse after Pregnancy and delivery, but don’t dismiss sex entirely because of that. We’ve put together a little guide to help you understand and prepare yourself to get back to your sex life.
Talk to your partner
There’s likelihood that your partner is as nervous as you are, or is waiting for you to give the green signal. Be the first one to approach the subject. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you feel, whether you’re ready to have sex just yet and how you’d like to approach physical intimacy in light of the recent changes your body has undergone. Listen to what your partner has to say. Healthy communication is key to a healthy sex life.
You might experience vaginal dryness
The hormonal changes brought about during and after pregnancy can cause vaginal dryness, which can make sex uncomfortable. In this regard, a lubricant is your best friend. Even some baby oil can work wonders! In case of any doubts or concerns, consult with your doctor about the right lubricant to use post-delivery.
There’s no right time
There’s no timeline set in stone for when to resume sex after delivery. It varies from woman to woman. While some of your friends may have bounced back to regular life immediately after delivery, it’s not necessary that the same applies to you. Don’t feel pressured by others; it’s your body and health that’s important here. Listen to your body, talk to your partner and decide your next course of action with mutual understanding and consent.
It may not feel the same as before
Considering what your body has been through, it’s only natural for sex to feel way different than it used to be before delivery. Whether you’ve had a natural birth or a C-section, sex will feel downright uncomfortable. You may experience pain and discomfort. The stitches need to heal and the bleeding needs to completely stop.It’s important that you allow yourself to heal and recover well.
You’ll need contraception
Breastfeeding is commonly considered to be a natural contraceptive. When you’re breastfeeding the baby, your body stops ovulating. Therefore, you can’t get pregnant. However, it’s not a failsafe method of contraception. Plenty of women ovulate when they’re breastfeeding. If you’re sexually active after pregnancy, you should consider taking birth control pills instead of fully depending on breastfeeding for the same. Another pregnancy within one year of delivery can affect your health, since your body hasn’t fully recovered yet.
Understand postpartum depression
It’s not uncommon for new moms to suffer from postpartum depression. Postpartum depression can affect libido, which takes away all your desire for sex. It can be a harrowing experience, and the healthiest thing to do is talk about it with your partner. Read up all about it to better your understanding. Don’t hesitate to see a therapist to help you work through this and restore normalcy into your life.
You will have to make time
Between taking care of the baby, catching whatever little sleep you can and overcoming fatigue, you and your partner may hardly find time for sex. And if you leave things to sort out by themselves, it’s going to be a very, very long time before you both actually manage to do something intimate. As crazy as it sounds, it’ll be immensely helpful if you and your partner actually plan things out in advance. Perhaps, ask the grandparents to take over baby duties for an evening? You’re going to have to be clever and efficient about this!
Restoring intimacy, physical as well as emotional, is extremely important especially now, as you and your partner face the pressure of parenthood. Remember to be patient, understanding and openly communicative about things with your partner – it’ll only help make things better and easier. Don’t hesitate to consult with your doctor on postpartum sex. Good luck!